Category: Joke Board
*The Laws of Life *
* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given
enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.
* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five
items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will
forget two of the first five.
* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place
you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.
* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the
corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your
taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what
happens.
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to
be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.
* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will
soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair
or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell
a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it
wrong anyway.
* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home
from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go
unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking
lot.
* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when
there is no time to deliver the services.
* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know
who wrote the book or even which book it is.
* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.
--
How I wish so many of these weren't actually true.
Cute.